Shhhh - Witnessing

Up too early this morning, but the only time really when I've got some quiet to myself before the kids wake up. So I'm blog-surfing and catching up on the news, and I was prompted by this post on Tana's blog to recall a story from a few years ago.

Friends of ours own a Wings & Ribs place close to town. They're Christians, and one of their waitstaff was a very smiley bouncey Christian young woman. One of the bar regulars one night, out of the blue, asked her: "Why are you so happy all the time?" She smiled and responded, "Because I've got the love of Jesus in my heart" (big smile). To which he replied, "Oh-kay" - and left. You could argue that the exchange planted a seed, that she was loving in her bounciness and did share the love of Jesus in her response. I think that's what she did, but I also think there could've been more.

My friend, co-owner of the establishment, wanted to be more "out there" with her faith, "witness" like that to people. She was actually disappointed that she didn't think she would've responded like the server did in the same situation. In trying to encourage her, I wanted to show a different way of "witnessing" that's brought different and longer-lasting results and conversations over the years. Here's the way I would've played out the same scenario:

Customer (C): So tell me, why are you so happy all the time?
Server (S): Excuse me?
C (asking again): Well, you smile all the time, and I've never seen you get upset even at jerk customers in here. Why are you so happy all the time?
S: Why am I so happy all the time?
C (re-stating again): Yeah - why?
S: I can't tell you.
C (???): Huh?
S: I can't tell you. It's a secret.

In the actual conversation, giving the "answer" so quickly just about killed the moment. We're primed to jump all over someone asking questions like that, instead of engaging them in a real give-and-take relationship.

C: It's a secret?
S: If I told you, I'd have to kill you.
C (chuckling, hopefully): Heheheh, okay - tell me your secret, and I'll take my chances.
S: I don't think you're ready for that.
C: Why not?
S: It'll change you life forever, like it did mine. I don't want that kind of pressure.
C (intrigued): What is it? Herbalife?
S: Ok, but I warned you that this might change your whole life. Here it is - I know Jesus.
C: Wha-?
S: Jesus. He has me completely. He's made such a huge change in me that you've noticed, too.

Who knows where it goes after that, but I've had variations on that theme over the years with people who "see me everyday". I've just found that there's a deeper relationship to be built with a little playfulness and a smile rather than taking ahold of the conversation and having to turn it into a "witnessing moment". After exchanges such as this, I've had more follow-up chats, more real friendships, more lasting relationships than I feel I would've if I'd been more "Jesus is the Answer" in responding to questions.